Thursday, February 21, 2008

Important How-to




How to Read Body Language


from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Understanding body language is a skill that can enhance your life. You can know what a person thinks and feels by examining their subconscious body language. This article will help hone this social advantage you can gain over people in your life.

Steps

  1. Gauge the distance. The closer that someone is to you, the warmer his or her opinions are of you. The farther away that someone is, the less they care.
  2. Watch their head position.
    • Overly tilted heads are a potential sign of sympathy. Alternatively the person is trying to convince you of their honesty.
    • Lowered heads indicate a reason to hide something. Take note if someone lowers their head. If it is when he or she are complimented, he or she may be shy, ashamed, timid, keeping distance from the other person, in disbelief, or thinking to herself. If it is after an explanation, then he or she may be unsure if what they said was correct.
    • Cocked heads mean that they are confused or challenging you, depending on eye, eyebrow, and mouth gestures.
  3. Look into their eyes.
    • Liars will consecutively look at you and look away a number of times. You can actually learn specifically how to observe behavior to judge whether someone's lying.
    • People who look away while supposedly listening to you are thinking about something else. This is why when you are talking to a group of people, if an item in conversation strikes the one looking away, they will ask for you to repeat the story.
    • Auditory learners may look from side-to-side and repeat phrases in an effort to retain information.
  4. See if they're mirroring you. Mirroring is another common gesture. If someone mirrors, or mimics your appearance, this is a very genuine sign that they are interested in you.
  5. Check their arms.
    • People with crossed arms are closing themselves to social influence. The worst thing that you can do to people with crossed arms is to challenge them in one way or another, no matter how they react. This annoys them. Though some people just cross their arms as a habit, they're (slightly) reserved, or they're just trying to hide something on their shirt.
    • If someone rests their arms behind their neck, they are open to what is being discussed and interested in listening more. They may be waiting to state their opinion on the matter.
    • Look at the location of their hands. If their hands are in their pockets, then they are more relaxed and are more likely to be attracted to you. For example when a man has his hands in his pockets, with his thumbs outside, pointing down, then he is trying to draw your attention down there. This can also be transferred to other parts of the body and objects.
  6. Be aware of nervous gestures:
    • If someone brushes their hair back with their fingers, their thoughts about something conflict with yours. They might not voice this. If you see raised eyebrows during this time, you can be pretty sure that they disagree with you.
    • If someone is biting their lip, they are anticipating something.
    • Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on. It's usually skeptical. (Or maybe they have a problem seeing)

Tips

  • It's easy to spot a confident person, they will make prolonged eye contact and have a strong posture.
  • If people laugh excessively, it may be dishonest, or they just might be very naturally jovial and/or inebriated. Use your best judgement.
  • Don't isolate yourself by constantly examining body language when interacting with people otherwise there is no reason to gain a social upper hand anyway. This is paralysis by analysis.

Warnings

  • Unfortunately, there are always exceptions. Some people's body language are not a representation of how they feel. This is where your instincts must decide.
  • There are wide cultural differences, so body language will differ in other countries.
  • If the other person has Asperger's Syndrome, their body languages may be for reasons other than what you think!

Related wikiHows

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Read Body Language. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

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posted by Nancy Liu at 12:16 PM 0 Comments

Are you a disgusting person in public place?



How to Not Be Annoying


from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Most of the time, an annoying person doesn't realize how his or her behavior is perceived by others. If you suspect that you're annoying others - or you've been told you're annoying and think they might be right, here's how to avoid the little things that often get on people's nerves.

Steps



  1. Think first. Think about what you are going to say before blurting it out.
  2. Build self confidence. Being insecure can lead to annoying traits. Until you have built your self confidence up don't try too hard.
  3. Break counterproductive habits. If you laugh loudly at everyone's jokes, even if they're not all that funny, read up on how to avoid laughing at inappropriate times. Try a different approach - be genuine and be yourself. If people find you annoying when you're being true to yourself, then you need to find new, more accepting people to be around.
  4. Respect boundaries. Everybody has boundaries - you need to learn what they are and try to avoid crossing them. Boundaries vary widely from culture to culture and even from individual to individual.
    • Do not go around poking people constantly. In fact, don't touch them at all if they don't like it. Of course if they grant permission, then by all means have fun, but otherwise cut it out before you start.
    • Mind your own business. Avoid butting into a conversation by (for example) saying, "What are you talking about?" If you hear someone talking about something with another person, and you only catch the last sentence, leave it be.
  5. Be humble. Just because you're confident doesn't mean you have to act like you're better than anyone else. Don't do or say things that might let you appear to be arrogant, like bragging about your wealth or success.
    • Don't correct bad grammar/spelling or inaccuracies of others because most people don't like being corrected. At the same time, though, admit when you're wrong. Learn to speak with correct grammar, and check your facts.
    • Don't excessively tell people that their beliefs are wrong; gently and nicely mention that you disagree.
    • Don't complain all the time. Remember the world does not revolve around you. If you complain too much, others will find you depressing and avoid you. Read up on how to be optimistic.
  6. Learn to listen. Conversation is a two way street. If you're talking constantly, others will get frustrated and quit trying to communicate with you. As a general rule, always listen more than you speak.
  7. Be conscious of your surroundings. Be aware if you are standing in doorways while having a conversation, driving 20MPH in a 40MPH zone (or 40MPH in a 20MPH zone), standing in the middle of an area where people are trying to walk (in stores, malls, or the airport), or if your children are being obnoxious in a public place. Consider how your actions are likely to affect the people around you, and you will gain their respect.
  8. Be polite and hygienic. Don't peek down people's shirts for instance, don't pass gas, don’t talk about looking down people’s shirts or passing gas. Cover your nose and mouth when you sneeze or cough. Take care to brush and/or floss after meals so as not inflict your breath on others or allow strings of food to flap back and forth when you speak, and don’t talk about specific instances of impolite or unhygienic actions that offended you in the past.
  9. Learn to read facial reactions and body movements. Pay attention to the facial expressions and body language of those around you and work to immediately identify and stop whatever you're doing that is annoying others.
  10. Think of others. For some it is easy, but others, it is not. Try to put yourself in others' shoes and treat others the way you would like to be treated.

Tips

  • It is easy to be annoying if you talk too much. Think about what you say before you say it. Remember the famous quotation, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt". Not talking at all is no fun for anyone, so you should try to strike a balance in conversation.
  • Don't know if you are annoying? Ask a person that you would find likely to give you an honest and constructive answer. Be prepared for criticism and be willing to accept it gracefully. The person may not be ready to give it all immediately, so give him/her time by explaining your situation, thoughts, and feelings to make it clear you can handle helpful criticism. Don't take this to an extreme, either, as it will probably be quite annoying itself.
  • If your friends and family are removing themselves from you, it is possible you need to work on your social skills and personal boundaries with a professional counselor or in a group. Creating appropriate boundaries is greatly affected by early experiences over which we have no control. Coming to terms with these experiences may help give you the security you need to create and respect proper boundaries.
  • Don't worry too much if you are an annoying person. We are all annoying at times, and some people are too quick to criticize.

Warnings

  • If you are unable to stop being annoying, be wary that some people might not want to be around you anymore and might begin to avoid you. In extreme cases, you may end up spending a lot of time alone.

Related wikiHows

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Not Be Annoying. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

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posted by Nancy Liu at 11:54 AM 0 Comments

Important How-to.



How to Be Respected


from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

If anyone wants to be respected by others, wealth, clothing or physical attractiveness are not requirements. The way others perceive us isn't necessarily based on our level of education, what schools we may have attended or with whom we are acquainted. Respect is accorded to those who live respectable lives--that is, people that conduct themselves with integrity and treat others, in turn, with high regard. If we set the example by respecting ourselves - appreciating our own good qualities and using them to highlight the positive in other people's lives, then our example will be followed and that same regard will likely be shown to us in return. The most important thing to remember is that respect is earned; we must act respectably in order to receive the benefits.

Steps

  1. Present yourself well. Have a bath or shower once a day, be well groomed and dressed neatly. Clothing doesn’t need to be expensive but it should be laundered and in good repair. Take care of your health and your teeth. Your smile will show to others that you enjoy your own company, and theirs too.
  2. Keep your language clean and respectable. Say positive things about others whenever possible, but be sincere - people can recognize the difference between true interest and forced flattery.
  3. Try not to be negative. It is easy to point out the downside of a situation, but if we make the effort to overcome our obstacles we can lead happier lives and be an encouragement to others. Find ways to assist those who need help and your own troubles will seem less overwhelming, and you feel better for doing it!
  4. Greet people in a proper and friendly manner. It is appreciated and returned by others, and makes you feel wonderful.
  5. Never bully others or take advantage of their weaknesses. Bullies are not respected because they don't show respect. Allow people to keep their dignity.
  6. Don’t act like a know it all. People do not appreciate it when you act superior to them.
  7. Be a good role model. Set an example that others would like to follow. When another person imitates you, it is a sign of respect. If someone else has set a good example, let them know how much you appreciate it by your own actions.
  8. Be yourself. Don't join in with the latest craze just because others may be following the popular style. Respect yourself by making your own choice, this will bring respect from others.
  9. Give everyone a chance. Don't prejudge people, and be pleasant to everyone (until they give you a reason not to). Even if you realise someone is a jerk, always be civil and have class. People around you will respect that more than bad mouthing or confronting them in a mean way.
  10. Don't be materialistic. Stay focused on people rather than objects that may be lost or destroyed; people are so much more important and our true value is not what we have, it is the person we are inside that others will respect.
  11. Respect yourself and others around you. - Keep your home and surroundings clean and well kept. Your neighbours will respect you and the neighbourhood will be a better place for everyone. Treating others with respect is the most important thing to do; if you treat someone with respect, they'll treat you with respect.
  12. State your boundaries. Clearly communicate what you are willing to accept and what the consequences for trespassing of these boundaries are. Do what you announced to do (or not to do) every time the trespassing happens.
    • Example: If you want to go out to meet friends with your partner, inform them of the time and that you will leave at this time; whether they are ready or not. If your partner is not ready to go, leave the house without them. Do not let them call you back or change your plans in any way. Do not try to justify your actions, and refuse to accept blame; if at all, tell them that you informed them of the consequences and they are only suffering consequences that could have easily be avoided if they had played by the rules.

Tips

  • Remember that respect is something that people have to earn. It is given to those who live respectably!
  • Bring beauty to your surroundings by giving your neighbours a pleasant view of your home and your personality. Invite the people in your neighbourhood to draw near with genuine interest and friendliness. They will want to care about you, too.
  • Remember that people notice the example your children are following. If you treat your children lovingly and teach them to have respect for yourself and others, you will be treated with respect also.
  • Especially remember to be respectful to bullies. If they take something from you, or start to tease you, say: "Can I have that back? And by the way, I love your hair". Don't shower them with compliments, as they will take advantage of that, but say something nice. It will easily throw them off guard.
  • Try to find what you're good at, and use it. If you're a good singer, be in the school musicals, sing for events, etc. People will recognise you and your talents. This is a great way to get 'well-known'.



Warnings



  • Don't try too hard, people won't respect you because they will assume you are trying to be better than them.
  • Don't pretend to be someone you're not. People might think you're insecure and fake. Therefore you won't be respected
Related wikiHows


Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Be Respected. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Labels:

posted by Nancy Liu at 11:02 AM 0 Comments