I am better than you- gracefully vs. Screaming out loud
Sunday church bible class sidetracked to the subject of culture differences in USA, due to the most common greeting opening phrases in summer time among Americans. Is everybody got tanned? Well.
This opening greeting phrase is politely asked by one of elders with smile on his face, who is a scholarship recipient Chinese student came to USA study for his higher education and worked here ever since, so very much Americanized; sometimes, I even think he has already forgotten he is a Chinese. Many Chinese are like him after living here for a long long time.
I am always troubled by two identities of Chinese and American, even with such simple greeting words that would bothered me and have me get into discussion with elder in church, I think I am going to have trouble ahead of me.
I openly get into the culture differences of skin color need to be tanned or not that is really differed by White and Chinese, as we knew the most high priced cosmetic in Asia is Whitening cream in summer. Chinese men like to marry pretty Chinese woman with light and fair skin, I believe this elder must has a light skin pretty Chinese woman as his wife too. Adopted a common greeting conversation is really a culture immersion after live with Whites half century. So, what is wrong with me?
I directly express my opinion about tanning issue to this group of confused Chinese Americans, I want Whites in this society possess the knowledge that Chinese and Asian do not like to be tanned in summer. This is a common knowledge and Whites should learn to stop being naive and ignorant when so many Asian live around them in California. Are we invisible?
A White woman used to ask me whether Chinese still has arranged marriage while in deed Chinese divorce rate is probably higher than Americans. Qing dynasty ended in 1911, while Martin Luther King Jr. in 1963 still giving out the speech "I have a dream..."
1911 and 1963 is almost 50 years later, Black in USA still working on their civil right. Should I, in return of that conversation, asked that White woman whether she has a black slave at her home doing house chaos for her?
I do agree Whites society has higher knowledge of science, medicine, as well as higher standard of living environment, but knowing some common knowledge about people living in a same community/society is not a difficult task. Mis-communication is all caused by arrogance and pride, so they don't want spent time on study to learn the cultural differences.
Chinese American who fluently speaking two languages of Chinese and English become a precious group of people who are more able to aware to the differences between two groups of people living in same community and honestly to share their point of view with me.
Through my observation, Chinese American sometimes are downgrading themselves in American society by not telling Whites what they are thinking about the rudeness of verbal or nonverbal offensive interaction they can perceive from Whites. Four or more generation Chinese American still keep telling each other this is a Western country which also means this is not their own country, we are living in other people's land.... Chinese American made themselves became invisible to Whites, who are truly also come from many different European or South America countries.
Chinese Americans have never aware of this point, those Whites in our eyes are foreigners too. What made those Whites thinking they are living in their own country? Chinese American after fourth or fifth generation still thinking they are living in other people's country because never has a Chines American tell Whites they do not like to be tanned in Summer, never has Chinese American tell Whites what they really think about any of their offensive term, unsuitable, improper word usage apply to Chinese American when those German American, French American, British American.... would think that is their natural culture. Never has any brave Chinese American appropriately tell those Whites in general to stop their harassment publicly.
Why your taco is not smelly? Why my Chinese lunch box smelly? Why can you eat your beloved sandwich, and I can not eat my beloved rice? Why you can complain about my Chinese accent and I can not complain your British accent or any form of ascent ?
So, we will need to continue to think we are living in other people's country.
Turning around, there are more and more Chinese and immigrants from all other countries newly arrived in our community, bring in more and more different thoughts and attitude. Things will getting funnier and funnier. Whites will not tell you, they will keep away from you. Is it the reason Chinese stick together with Chinese always? Why Chinese speak fluently in the language of English still would like to stay and live around with Chinese? Because Whites will not tell you?
This opening greeting phrase is politely asked by one of elders with smile on his face, who is a scholarship recipient Chinese student came to USA study for his higher education and worked here ever since, so very much Americanized; sometimes, I even think he has already forgotten he is a Chinese. Many Chinese are like him after living here for a long long time.
I am always troubled by two identities of Chinese and American, even with such simple greeting words that would bothered me and have me get into discussion with elder in church, I think I am going to have trouble ahead of me.
I openly get into the culture differences of skin color need to be tanned or not that is really differed by White and Chinese, as we knew the most high priced cosmetic in Asia is Whitening cream in summer. Chinese men like to marry pretty Chinese woman with light and fair skin, I believe this elder must has a light skin pretty Chinese woman as his wife too. Adopted a common greeting conversation is really a culture immersion after live with Whites half century. So, what is wrong with me?
I directly express my opinion about tanning issue to this group of confused Chinese Americans, I want Whites in this society possess the knowledge that Chinese and Asian do not like to be tanned in summer. This is a common knowledge and Whites should learn to stop being naive and ignorant when so many Asian live around them in California. Are we invisible?
A White woman used to ask me whether Chinese still has arranged marriage while in deed Chinese divorce rate is probably higher than Americans. Qing dynasty ended in 1911, while Martin Luther King Jr. in 1963 still giving out the speech "I have a dream..."
1911 and 1963 is almost 50 years later, Black in USA still working on their civil right. Should I, in return of that conversation, asked that White woman whether she has a black slave at her home doing house chaos for her?
I do agree Whites society has higher knowledge of science, medicine, as well as higher standard of living environment, but knowing some common knowledge about people living in a same community/society is not a difficult task. Mis-communication is all caused by arrogance and pride, so they don't want spent time on study to learn the cultural differences.
Chinese American who fluently speaking two languages of Chinese and English become a precious group of people who are more able to aware to the differences between two groups of people living in same community and honestly to share their point of view with me.
Through my observation, Chinese American sometimes are downgrading themselves in American society by not telling Whites what they are thinking about the rudeness of verbal or nonverbal offensive interaction they can perceive from Whites. Four or more generation Chinese American still keep telling each other this is a Western country which also means this is not their own country, we are living in other people's land.... Chinese American made themselves became invisible to Whites, who are truly also come from many different European or South America countries.
Chinese Americans have never aware of this point, those Whites in our eyes are foreigners too. What made those Whites thinking they are living in their own country? Chinese American after fourth or fifth generation still thinking they are living in other people's country because never has a Chines American tell Whites they do not like to be tanned in Summer, never has Chinese American tell Whites what they really think about any of their offensive term, unsuitable, improper word usage apply to Chinese American when those German American, French American, British American.... would think that is their natural culture. Never has any brave Chinese American appropriately tell those Whites in general to stop their harassment publicly.
Why your taco is not smelly? Why my Chinese lunch box smelly? Why can you eat your beloved sandwich, and I can not eat my beloved rice? Why you can complain about my Chinese accent and I can not complain your British accent or any form of ascent ?
So, we will need to continue to think we are living in other people's country.
Turning around, there are more and more Chinese and immigrants from all other countries newly arrived in our community, bring in more and more different thoughts and attitude. Things will getting funnier and funnier. Whites will not tell you, they will keep away from you. Is it the reason Chinese stick together with Chinese always? Why Chinese speak fluently in the language of English still would like to stay and live around with Chinese? Because Whites will not tell you?
posted by Nancy Liu at
3:00 PM
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